Gratitude for the Uneventful

I have started keeping a pretty good list of newsletter ideas for weeks when I'm not sure what to write about. This is a fairly new process though and I realized, as I missed the last two weeks of newsletters, I could easily have used one of those ideas. So, let's dive into this one - being grateful for the uneventful.

As I shared in my little duology on planning for the worst while also anticipating joy, the end of January was a whirlwind of travel and client work. I flew to upstate New York and back for a one day on site event with a client while my partner on the project continued on to way, way upstate New York to our second client where she ran the on site and I participated by Zoom. Why did I abandon my partner? Gayle and I were flying to Florida the next day for a cruise and I didn't want to run the risk of not getting home. In hindsight, it was very prescient planning as we ended up leaving an extra day early to make our way around Winter Storm Fern. (Gayle and I had a nice cruise, but had to deal with Winter Storm Gianna which shut down Charlotte and hence had us re-route after waiting for three hours for American to finally cancel our flight. And, we both came home with terrible respiratory infections that we're still getting over.)

All of that makes the idea of this article even more poignant - being grateful for the truly uneventful and "normal". While our Florida trips were quite eventful, my travel days to and from New York were mundane, uninteresting, and quite simply, UNeventful. Even before all the adventures of our Florida travel, I realized that it's incredibly important to acknowledge gratitude for the particularly uneventful aspects of life.

I grew up with a specific manifestation of gratitude for the uneventful - praying before meals. It is one Gayle and I practice rather haphazardly, but is still a regular part of meal time routines when I stay with my dad and sister. While 1 in 7 households in the US and 1 in 11 people in the world deal with food insecurity on a daily basis, I've been privileged to never experience food insecurity. So, whether I take a moment to thank God or to simply express gratitude for a thing that it becomes all to easy to take for granted, pausing before meals or at other moments to express gratitude for the truly ordinary can improve your life.

Science has shown that taking a few moments to express gratitude for everything from the seemingly uneventful to the monumental can lead to better health and increases in "subjective wellbeing" (which is the more scientifically measurable term often used for happiness). Gratitude activates our brain's reward centers as well as something called the HPA axis (see note 1) which can help reduce stress and lead to better relaxation. Gratitude practices can lead to lower blood pressure and heart rate.

So, if gratitude - which at least for me is simple and painless - can lead to significant long term health benefits as well as increases in happiness - how do we increase our opportunities to express gratitude for the seemingly uneventful? I consulted a few different resources (see note 2) and put together this list for you to consider.

1. There's an app for that. I'm always looking for ways to put technology to use for good rather than for more doomscrolling. Gayle and I both love using the Finch app (code CZKRPMSJ5Y to automatically be "friends" in the app). I have a reminder to say something I’m grateful for before bed and since opening the Finch app is a part of my bedtime routine, I've done this now for over 400 days! Don't want a purpose built app? No problem - just set regular alarms or reminders using your favorite clock, alarm, reminder, or to do app to practice gratitude.
2. Send a note. I want to be the person who sends nice notes on a regular basis and I've not yet achieved that identity. But, I will keep striving. Sending a thank you may seem obvious, but it is still a wonderful gratitude practice. By the way, if you feel awkward sending someone a thank you note, you get the benefits from writing it even if you don't send it.
3. Count your blessings. One night during my cancer treatment, I was in a particularly foul mood. Gayle handed me a piece of paper and a pen and told me to write down everything I was grateful for. This piece of paper still lays on my desk and the photo of it is in my Favorites album so I can look at it regularly. I've repeated the practice several times and it's always valuable, but that first one in that very dark moment was just the right medicine my brain and heart needed.
4. Prayer and/or Meditation. One of my favorite prayer formulas is from Anne Lamott - "Help, Thanks, Wow". Whether you pray for religious reasons or you simply take time in your day to meditate, including a "thanks" meditation or prayer can greatly increase your happiness and overall wellbeing.
5. Exchange Sorry for Thank You. Have you ever been late? How did you express your sentiments to the person you were inconveniencing? I've often stopped at "I'm so sorry I was late." However, use these times as opportunities for gratitude and add something like "Thank you for waiting" or "Thank you for your patience."
6. Symbolize Gratitude. Many articles and lists suggested carrying a small object in your pocket, but I think this could also be a practice you do with your phone case, phone screen, or a piece of jewelry. Use something about that object to remind you to take a moment to pause and mentally or physically express gratitude.
7. Communal Gratitude. Several years ago, I made both Gayle and I "Joy Jars". One sits on our kitchen counter today. It's filled with mints now but for a few years we each filled our jars with little slips of paper on which we wrote moments of gratitude. As a part of our end of the year rituals we would take out the slips and read through them.
8. Take a Gratitude Walk. Walking is a great time to identify things in the world around you for which you feel grateful. Next time you set out, leave the podcast, audiobook, or music playlist behind (or wait a few minutes to turn it on) and simply practice gratitude for a few minutes during your walk.

How does gratitude for the truly mundane show up in your life? What gratitude practices work for you? Hit reply on this email or come and chat with us in the Circle Community by clicking the Let's Chat button below.

1. The HPA axis is the hypothalmic-pituitary-adrenal axis. It's a part of both your neurological and endocrine systems. It's role is to manage stress, help with immune responses, support metabolism, and regulate mood.
2. ​Giving thanks can make you happier from Harvard Health Publishing, Anne Lamott Distills Prayer Into 'Help, Thanks, Wow' is a good review of a favorite book

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