I'm Kara. I create content about personal growth, productivity, and technology, faith, and my well lived life. Subscribe to my weekly newsletter to get a fresh new article, a roundup of anything I published this week, and other fun stuff in your inbox (most) Monday mornings.
How do you CHOOSE?
Published 30 days ago • 4 min read
How Do You CHOOSE?
Reminder: There is just one week left to sign up for my new class, Off The Clock, On Purpose, for the “it will never be lower” price of $99. And, as a member of the inaugural cohort, you’ll also get lifetime access to the course. So, even if you think it’s too early for you to plan for retirement (which, it’s never too early), you can buy the course at the best price it will ever be and take it later.
Kona showing off our new rug
Gayle and I have been looking for a rug for the Bestie Bungalow's great room since we moved in. When we bought the house, the floors were a mix of ugly brown formica and builder grade cream carpet. We had our contractor rip out all of the ugly brown formica as well as the stained cream carpet in the great room and put in wood look luxury vinyl plank (LVP). Generally, we didn't regret this decision or second guess ourselves.
However, we wanted a rug to soften and tie the great room together. Plus, Kona hates the LVP. He won't sit or lay down on it in the cute little full obedience way that he does when he's really behaving. And, he skids and slides when he's playing his favorite games of tug and fetch. A rug gives him traction and a soft place to park his tush.
One of the most interesting things about our shared home is that we are now in a position where we are not only making a decision based on our wants and needs - but also have to take into consideration another person's wants and needs.
And, we have two very different decision making styles. My default is decide now, ask questions later. Gayle's default is ask questions now, decide later.
This past week I've been watching lots of people in lots of contexts make decisions. These decisions range from which rug to get amongst agreeably less than ideal choices to how to allocate tens of thousands of dollars of a very limited budget to do fixes on a church building. Which is to say, they run the gamut from tiny to really, really big. It's made me think about how to model effective decision-making for myself and others and I've come up with this pneumonic - CHOOSE - that I'm testing out. Today, I’m just going to walk you through it at a high level. In future weeks we might explore some of these in more detail. (Comment below if you really do want me to do that - or really don’t want that.)
C - CONSTRAINTS - Why this choice right now? What are the limits on time, money, resources that this choice has to fit within? And, where do these constraints come from? Are they real or are they just imagined?
H - HOPES - If there was a perfect choice, what would happen? What's the absolute best possible outcome?
O - OPTIONS - What are all the possible options? Which are you considering? Which aren't you considering? Why did you make those choices? (This question is particularly important because it's helping you identify even more clearly what your hopes are and what the trade offs are you're willing to make.) Get detailed about them. You can make pro-con lists for each. You can detail out the strengths and trade-offs of each option.
O - OUTSIDE - Ask someone else for their opinion from your favorite agentic AI to a trusted friend - don't make big decisions in isolation. Seek other sources. For smaller decisions, literally go outside. Take a break and step away. Five minutes of not thinking about the situation can often bring the biggest clarity.
S - SELECT - Make your choice. Be confident that you've made the right choice based on the constraints, trade-offs, etc. Very few choices in life are absolutely perfect. You've done the best you can with the time, money, and effort you had available to make the choice.
E - EVALUATE - Learn from each choice and each choosing process. It wasn't perfect. What will you change the next time you have a big decision to make?
Oh, and I just had to include this factoid. Don't make decisions on an empty stomach. One of the more famous (or perhaps infamous) studies on decision-making is the 2011 study of parole boards in Israel. This is my favorite line from my favorite summary from Scientific American, "Judges granted 65 percent of requests they heard at the beginning of the day’s session and almost none at the end. Right after a snack break, approvals jumped back to 65 percent again." We often believe we're acting rationally when making decisions, but maybe we're just hungry.
What choices are you pondering that could benefit from the steps above? Is this framework helpful? What other models do you use for decision-making? Where do you struggle most in the decision-making process? Would you like to learn more about these various steps in the process? Reply to this email or click the Let's Chat button below and join the conversation in the Circle Community.
The biggest announcement is the official launch of Off The Clock, On Purpose Our first live session is on Monday, August 3. If you want to join for the full cohort live, it’s time to join. I’ll be sending out the pre-work a bit later this week.
Join us for the bi-weekly Obsidian Office Hours Session.
Office Hours are a time to ask questions about Obsidian. If you have a question, reply to the event with your questions - or attend live and you can get your question answered in the session.
When appropriate, office hours sessions will be recorded and the recording posted here.
Sheriff Country
When Max Thieriot left CBS’s Seal Team to lead the cast of Fire Country, I wanted to watch but this fire fighter’s kid doesn’t watch shows involving fire or fire departments. But, I’ve seen the series continue and get positive reviews. This season, they launched a spin off - Sheriff Country. And, the cast of this made us want to give it a try. Great writing performed beautifully by a great cast and stories that make you really care about the characters. I can’t wait for Season 2!
I'm Kara. I create content about personal growth, productivity, and technology, faith, and my well lived life. Subscribe to my weekly newsletter to get a fresh new article, a roundup of anything I published this week, and other fun stuff in your inbox (most) Monday mornings.
