I watch streaming as I'm going to sleep. Recently, the YouTube algorithm served up a guy who creates aquascapes.
You might be wondering what in the world this has to do with beginning again. One night, after watching this guy build yet another beautiful aquascape, I found myself thinking, "You should create one of these." It got to the point where I was googling fish tank prices. Something in my brain finally said "Enough!"
You see, I have a hundred hobbies that I'm (at least partially) invested in. I like to do art of all kinds. I crochet. I love to read. I love to cook and bake. I have so many pending scrapbooks to make in Shutterfly I'm afraid to open the account. On top of that, I'm a solopreneur who often can't explain to someone she just met exactly what she does because it's just so many things.
So, I should be a pro at beginning again and yet, I often feel so much emotional weight to having to pick something back up and dive into it that I make it worse by starting something else new.
In the recent mini series on Challenge, I talked about using a new challenge (swimming vs walking) as a reset button. But this theme of restarting has been a part of the newsletter since all the way back in issue 2! As I was thinking about this week's newsletter - the first one back from our little Orlando vacation - I realized that even writing today feels like beginning again to me. This is a skill that I need to build and a muscle I need to flex regularly so that it becomes less weighty every time I have to battle through the inevitable shame of realizing I left another project sitting for weeks on end without touching it.
I think we often think that the problem with starting is a lack of motivation. But, motivation isn't really the problem. Motivation, according to habits research B.J. Fogg actually comes after we start. You almost rarely feel motivation before you start something. I won't claim this for you, but as I reflected on this, I realize that what I battle when I need to restart something is shame. I feel shame about stopping. That shame is what makes restarting harder than starting.
What do you need to give yourself permission to start again without shame?
